Billy Joel, rejoice – Cadillac claims there’s a crash-proof car just around the corner. If so, drivers like the Piano Man – who famously mangled three cars in just two years – just might be able to keep it between the ditches…without even trying!

Cadillac announced last week that coming technologies could include in-vehicle Doppler radar, which will let you avoid traffic jams and roadblocks. Even further down the road, the company is predicting self-driving vehicles that can actually communicate with each other, traffic signals and buildings. (Now, if only they could put some of that communication technology into men!!)

Some of the early forms of these technologies are already in place in Cadillac’s 2010 DTS Platinum, which starts at around $46,280. So if you can’t wait for the future, here are some of the features you’ll find on the Platinum:

- A lane departure warning, which relies upon a camera mounted near the inside mirror to identify traffic lane markings. If you cross the line, it instantly alerts you. (I am sure the camera’s warning is MUCH less annoying than when your mother-in-law does it…)

- Blind spot alert, which uses twin radar beacons to detect an object in a vehicle’s blind zone. It then offers a visual warning in the outside side mirror.

- Adaptive cruise control, in which sensors detect objects in a vehicle’s path and slow the vehicle down to avoid a collision.

Add these new features from Cadillac with components like Lexus’ self-parking system, Mercedes-Benz’s radar sensor controls that allow automated emergency braking, and today’s intelligent distance-keeping cruise control systems, and it adds up to cars that are kind of like teenagers: They don’t need us for anything more than money to keep the gas tank full.

In 2003, Mercedes did one of the things it does best: It introduced a vehicle that was so unique that it actually created a completely new category. The CLS-Class, which combined the elegance of a coupe with the functionality of a sedan, became the only four-door coupe in its class and once again raised the bar on style.

On September 30, Mercedes-Benz will unveil the 2012 CLS-Class at the Paris Motor Show. Once again, we’re promised a vehicle that is much like the perfect date: Sporty but refined, and is just as suitable for a night out on the town as it it is for a business dinner.

Expect to be impressed with the new lines of this car. It’s less athletic looking than its predecessors, going instead for a long, sloping silhouette that is played out in countless smaller details in the car’s design.

Mercedes also had fun with the LED headlamps, displaying innovative use of LEDs by creating three arrow-shaped layers of LED lights from top to bottom for the indicator, side light and main beam. A total of 71 LEDs provide a unique night-time design that won’t go unnoticed on the road.

The cockpit benefits from the sloping design, and optional touches like black piano lacquer or carbon fiber trim elements ensure that this car is as beautiful on the inside as it is on the outside.

As previously mentioned on this blog, Mercedes is winding down production of its beautiful, powerful SLR roadsters. The final models are rolling out the door in June of this year, and now we finally have a look at the finished product.

The final SLR – which stands for Sport, Light, Racing – is the SLR Stirling Moss, named after the legendary British racecar driver. Once called “the greatest driver to win the World Championship,” he earned victories both as a Formula 1 racer and at Le Mans. At 79, he’s still traveling the globe and continues to be in demand at automotive events worldwide.

As a nod to this driving legend, Mercedes has made its final SLR an exceptional find. It isn’t just the racecar-like styling that makes it stand out – but, as Mercedes-Benz Cars’ sales and marketing head, Dr. Klaus Maier, points out, “No other car is this open and this fast at the same time.”

That’s right – the $1 million-ish price tag doesn’t include a windshield, roof or windows. The supercharged V8 can leap from a dead stop to 62 mph in just 3.5 seconds. And of course it doesn’t stop there – the SLR Stirling Moss has a top speed of 220.

With a ride like that, it’s pretty clear you’re probably going to want a helmet or goggles to go with it. (Either way, your hairdo is screwed the minute you leave the driveway.) Honestly, this is one of those cars that is gorgeous to look at but probably looks better in someone else’s garage – kind of like a lot of husbands.

Still, the workmanship makes it something that’s impossible not to stare at. So gaze if you will, lust if you must – and then return to your own car of choice, thanking God for heated seats and windshields.

A few months ago while in Vancouver, I climbed inside a small, sporty crossover that had all the comfort and markings of a Mercedes, but lacked the familiar interior I’m accustomed to.

Feeling a lot like an upgraded Honda CRV, the compact MPV (or multi-purpose vehicle) boasted a deceptively roomy interior and, the driver told me, was perfect for taking her large Portugese Water Dog on adventures. It was my first introduction to Mercedes’ B-Class, and upon returning home I set out to learn more about it.

The B-Class Tourer is best described as a cross between the R-Class, which is sold in the U.S., and the subcompact A-Class, which is not. Yet.

After finding success in Germany, the A-Class, which was first rolled out in 1997, was slated for American production. Plans to bring the small family car to the U.S. were scrapped because of weak dollar, but the A-Class and its spinoff, the B-Class, which was introduced in 2005, both enjoyed healthy sales in Europe and Canada.

Now it seems that we might be able to get in on the subcompact luxury. Automotive News is reporting that Mercedes-Benz chairman Dieter Zetsche has announced plans to bring the A-Class and B-Class to American soil. The reason? High fuel costs are making even luxury drivers re-think the merits of their gas-guzzling daily drivers. Suddenly, those subcompacts are looking rather attractive – and let’s face it, when you slap a Mercedes emblem on the front of it, it’s just bound to look good!

With sales taking a nosedive, Mercedes apparently thought it seemed like a good time to re-think their previous plan – and they’ve also announced plans for an electric version.

Current plans call for the new models to arrive in the U.S. in 2011, and we’ll get both a coupe and a small crossover. All of a sudden, downsizing looks a whole lot better…

Most of us best recall Alanis Morrissette as the gal who made ex-boyfriends around the world squirm uncomfortably whenever her songs came on the air. But it’s been 13 years since she gave us “You Oughta Know,” and today Alanis is singing a different tune.

No longer the angry young woman, today she is an environmentally minded artist and has gone from being green with envy to simply being green. And for her latest video, she wants to take audiences along for the ride.

To that end, she has partnered with Mercedes-Benz, showcasing their E320 BlueTEC in her latest video, “Underneath.” The first single from her new album, Flavors of Entanglement, the video revolves around Morrissette and her concern for the environment. It shows her wearing a “Save the Earth” T-shirt at a Los Angeles bus stop and then distributing fliers about the environment – presumably on recycled paper.

Mercedes gets in the act when the E320 BlueTEC passes, and she salutes the driver for their environmentally aware choice. So what made the BlueTEC her eco-friendly car of choice?

First off, it uses a state-of-the-art engine and exhaust technology, which produces the cleanest diesels available. That allows the V6 to provide the power of a V8 with the fuel consumption of a four-cylinder compact. Neat trick, huh?

Beyond the immediate benefit of fuel efficiency, the long-term benefit includes significantly lower carbon dioxide emissions. The Benz E320 BlueTEC was impressive enough to be named the 2007 World Green Car by automotive journalists – and clearly that’s good enough for Alanis.

In case the sedan isn’t your style, this fall Mercedes will roll out a trio of SUVs – the ML320 BlueTEC, the larger GL320 BlueTEC and the less-easy-to-define-as-a-SUV R320 BlueTEC. So if you want to help Alanis save the planet, check out these cars. If not, don’t worry – I won’t say anything. We’ve all seen how she can be when she’s mad…

No, I’m not talking about the guys on the new season of “The Bachelorette.” I’m talking about the cute-as-a-bug Smart fortwo cars, the Mercedes-Benz by-product that came to the U.S. with its 2008 model and now has a year-long waiting list.

With mileage in the 40 mpg range, and options that let you customize this half-pint cruiser to fit your personality, the Smart fortwo has definitely won over American hearts. But for those who care about more than just mileage, the big question has constantly been “Is it safe?”

Granted, crawling inside one of these surprisingly spacious mini-cars (it makes the Mini Cooper look like a moving van…) will inevitably bring up the question of safety. Citing factors such as steel bracing, elevated seat design and a specially designed steel “crash box,” Smart has stood by the safety of its cars since day one.

This weekend, a report on CNN reinforced what Smart-smitten consumers have hoped for when it aired an interview with Russ Rader of the Insurance Institute of Highway Safety. That stiff safety cage and other design features earned the Smart fortwo the Institute’s two highest ratings in a high-speed crash. It earned an “A” (for “Acceptable”) in both front and rear-end collisions for cars in their class.

Keep in mind the last four words of that sentence – they’re saying that, if you want to downsize your automobile, the Smart fortwo is a good bet; just don’t expect the same safety benefits of such gas-guzzling behemoths as the Hummer or Escalade. It does mean, however, that if you want to reduce the emissions you’re contributing to the planet and save a few bucks on your gas bill at the same time, this is a good way to go.

And face it, when’s the last time you found something that was cute, Smart and didn’t mind sleeping in the garage all night?